The point of recasting is to keep the basic information the same but to create a new GAP. So, for example, turning a nursery rhyme into a tabloid news story.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water,
Jack fell down and broke his crown, and Jill came tumbling after.
The search for two missing children from a Bolton Primary school ending in tragedy today, when they were discovered badly injured in undergrowth at the foot of a hill.
Jack Simmonds aged 8 and Gillian Duffy aged 7 had gone missing from their homes on the Towbeck estate late on Tueday afternoon. Police and neighbours organised a search and the children were discovered by sniffer dogs in the early hours of Wednesday morning.....etc....etc....
From, "Hey diddle diddle, the cat and the fiddle, The cow jumped over the moon. The little dog laughed to see such fun And the dish ran away with the spoon!"
ReplyDeleteCOW DIES JUMPING OVER THE MOON!
A cow has died following its dare to jump over The Moon pub, Bolton.
The 10-year-old cow was sat in The Moon on Monday evening with two friends, the cat and the fiddle, when the trio were approached by a dish.
It is believed that the dish was armed with a spoon, which it threatened the cow with. The dish is said to have instructed the cow to jump over The Moon, which is on Market Street, in an attempt to ‘cheer up’ their depressed friend, the dog.
Witnesses have said that the cow then proceeded to jump over The Moon. The cow was seriously injured by the fall and was pronounced dead at the scene. Police were called to the scene at approximately 8.01pm.
The dog said: “The dish wanted to cheer me up because I am suffering from severe depression. I was watching a film about a daredevil cow at the time that the idea came to light. This cow made a living out of jumping over buildings. By chance, there was a cow in The Moon pub, I simply could not stop laughing at a cow jumping over The Moon! There was milk everywhere.”
The dish fled the scene with its spoon. The dish was later found in a kitchen cupboard. The spoon was also recovered in the same kitchen in a drawer. The dish was arrested and the spoon is being used as evidence.
The dish was taken to Plates police station and has since been charged with cow slaughter. It will serve 19 years imprisonment. The dog was also arrested but was released without charge.
The funeral for the cow will take place next week and is expected to be attended by hundreds of farm animals.
Love it! Especially like the part when the dish and the spoon are located in the kitchen!
ReplyDeleteDOCTOR DROWNS IN PUDDLE PLUNGE
ReplyDeleteLocal Cheltenham Doctor, Michael Foster, tragically drowned yesterday when a rainstorm hit Gloucester during his monthly visit to see an elderly patient in the area. Doctor Foster, 43, was a father of four and husband of Shirley Foster, 37. The information suggests that as the rainstorm hit Gloucester, Doctor Foster mistook an open man hole for a puddle whilst walking along Market Street at twelve noon. Unfortunately he stepped in the suspected puddle and became completely submerged in the water. Doctor Foster wasn’t found until he had been under for at least 20 minutes. Paramedics were immediately called to the scene and attempted to revive the Doctor but were unfortunately too late and he was pronounced dead at the scene. There is to be a full enquiry as to why the manhole was left open and unattended on a main street in the middle of the day. A contact informed us that a grief stricken Mrs Foster is doing all she can to handle the situation, and is organising a funeral to take place next Wednesday, for close friends and family.
Local hypochondriac and close friend of the victim, Mary Thomson, 64, told The Gloucester News that Doctor Foster was a family man, but was also devoted to his job and his patients. “Yes, he always had time for his patients, if ever I needed to see him short notice he would make a home visit, out of the kindness of his heart. He liked to think none of his patients would be neglected, probably the reason why he was visiting another patient who doesn’t live in the area anymore. The tragedy was a result of his kindness and devotion and many people are at a loss after the accident”. The family (right) will never be the same again. An unfortunate accident resulting in devastation.
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ReplyDeleteWishing upon a star is no longer an option after a middle aged woman was found severely injured due being directly hit by what seemed to be an innocent shining star; like a diamond in the sky, when, in actual fact this was a comet that hurtled out of control towards earth.
ReplyDeleteThe horrific incident occurred in the late hours of yesterday evening, when this unfortunate woman who cannot be named due to legal reasons, was making her way home from work. In the Croydon Private Estate, usually know for its calm quiet residents. The vicious comet is said to have hurled insanely through the core of the earth after having spent days whirling through the sky, as discovered by scientists, though it is still unknown as to where this comet initially appeared from. NASA scientists are currently working on an investigation as to find out the exact cause of this comets emergence and its arrival onto earth in such a hysteric way. Although, it is still difficult to achieve first hand information on this incident, as the woman is still recovering in hospital after having suffered serious head injuries and mild trauma to the brain.
Scientists have to rely on their own statistics with regards to the status of all of the skies residents such as various planets and asteroids in order to discover the exact cause and effect. However, they are currently looking at police reports from eye witnesses to gain further evidence, and so the police and NASA forces are working in a close unit to ensure that occurrences like this do not happen again. But still at such initial stages of the investigation nothing can be officially confirmed, although we can consider reports from eye witnesses such as Aaron Simpson, the estates officer who was currently on duty at the time. He told one of our reporters in exact quotes;
“I was patrolling the neighbourhood on duty not seeing anything suspicious just the usual business when all of a sudden I see a woman crash to the ground after having plummeted about 20 feet in the air, but it was all so fast that I was unable to do anything until she was at my reach. Immediately, I rushed towards her to find that she was lying unconscious as anyone would be after I figured out that she had been struck by a comet. There it was blazing on fire and propelling itself through the soil. Without any further delay I made a call straight to the police.”
From that we can confirm that the victim was rushed to hospital as mentioned and now the investigation is heading under way. As the town’s people we are unsure what to expect over the coming weeks though we must put our trust in pray for the swift recovery of this poor woman, and hope that next time we wish upon a star we most definitely wonder what it is ensuring that it is a clear twinkle in the sky.
Step-mother and Step-sisters behind bars of abusing 16 yr old Cinderella.
ReplyDelete‘’Cinderella is a bright little girl’’ said the local bakers, her mother died and her father married a widow with two girls. It was recently found that her stepmother did not like her a bit; all she ever cared about were her daughters. Cinderella was forced to do all the house chores. She would be physically tortured if she left a single dirt spot in the house. She was not allowed any liberty or leave the house, causing her depression.
Later this evening, the neighbours found the little girl inside the cottage drenched in blood; they claimed that she was still conscious and repeatedly talked to the cat in a aggressive manner, whilst her family attended the royal ball.
The local doctor had been presented and informed her family that Cinderella was suffering from depression, he also surprisingly claimed that he had informed them about her illness earlier but it was quite obvious that they did not want any medical help. Once she was checked up she gave her statement saying that she was physically tortured by her stepmother and stepsisters and she wished to kill them, she suddenly became very aggressive and mentally disturbed when she saw a sudden glimpse of her stepmother. The family was asked about this matter and they replied Cinderella was nothing to them and she was just a maid. Cinderella has been sent far far away and is been treated by the 7 well known dwarfs and her Stepmother and Stepsisters have been jailed in a long tower guarded by The Dragon.
By Raeesa Gajra
Elderly woman attacked by giant spider whilst making cheese
ReplyDeleteTiffany Griffiths, a 70 year old women from Littleton was attacked in her home by what has been confirmed to be a Tarantula.
She was in her home on Tuesday when the frightening incident occured. Steve Hulmes, her trusted neighbour said to have seen her enter her home at 12 noon with what appeared to be a giant box of bananas. She waved high and went inside.
She was found sprawled on her Guineveres tuffet in her kitchen when police arrived in her home. They assumed that she had been attempting to make curd cottage cheese because of the smell that filled her home and the mixture that was splattered everywhere on the scene. In the corner of her kitchen she had placed the misfortunate for Miss Griffiths, box of bananas that Mr Hulmes had seen her enter her home with.
Disastrously, she suffered a bite from the tarantula leading to her being unconscious for several hours and the possibility of her having her hand amputated. She is still in a serious condition which has meant police could not interview her yet.
Officer Marsden, said the team investigating the scene
have concluded that the spider must have come from the box of bananas Miss Griffiths bought into her home. These were not bought locally, but apparently from a dealer on the black market, but again Miss Griffiths will need to confirm this for police.
It was Mr Hulmes who found her and alerted the police. “I was very worried about her because of her deteriorating state. She is a local that we all care for, especially because she refuses to stay at the nursing home. But I hope she recovers fast”
Unfortunately the deadly spider has not been found, but people in the area have been advised to beware!